I can never find a fork in my house. There are spoons and knives but the forks are always in short supply.
I have bought new forks at my office a number of times. Once again, there are NO forks. None. Zero. I have asked everyone in the office if they have one at their desk. No one has a fork.
What happens to the forks? Is there a fork thief? Are we throwing them away?
It would be easy to set up a political example of fixing this “crisis”. I’m sure it is Bush’s fault or the hateful Republicans. I’m sure Nancy Pelosi has forks in her house. I could get a box of plastic forks but that wouldn’t be very green would it? Is there a government program to redistribute forks? Could this be a conspiracy issue? Does the NSA know what happened to my forks? Can I list my lost forks as a deduction on my tax return? Will the IRS believe me when I tell them I lost my forks? Should I email my staff about the forks? Did the government take my forks so I would stop eating unhealthy food? Is this a liberal agenda to prove a point?
I just want a fork. It doesn’t need to be fancy. It doesn’t need to be gold or silver. Please don’t take my forks away. No one in the government is going to help a middle aged, white, middle class, conservative, male get new forks.