Who is taking the forks?

I can never find a fork in my house.  There are spoons and knives but the forks are always in short supply.

I have bought new forks at my office a number of times.  Once again, there are NO forks.  None.  Zero.  I have asked everyone in the office if they have one at their desk.  No one has a fork.

What happens to the forks?  Is there a fork thief?  Are we throwing them away?

It would be easy to set up a political example of fixing this “crisis”.  I’m sure it is Bush’s fault or the hateful Republicans.  I’m sure Nancy Pelosi has forks in her house.  I could get a box of plastic forks but that wouldn’t be very green would it?  Is there a government program to redistribute forks?  Could this be a conspiracy issue?  Does the NSA know what happened to my forks?  Can I list my lost forks as a deduction on my tax return?  Will the IRS believe me when I tell them I lost my forks?  Should I email my staff about the forks? Did the government take my forks so I would stop eating unhealthy food?  Is this a liberal agenda to prove a point?

I just want a fork.  It doesn’t need to be fancy.  It doesn’t need to be gold or silver.  Please don’t take my forks away.  No one in the government is going to help a middle aged, white, middle class, conservative, male get new forks.



About Brian Fulmer

Brian is the owner of Crossroads Property Management Inc. (www.crossroadsproperty.com) He writes six blogs and has written two books. He also works with various missions around the world. His first love is Guatemala.
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